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Blog Post: I finally understand where my energy is leaking

Updated: Aug 25, 2023

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I started out by wanting to only write articles- articles that I feel might benefit others out there. I have been ingesting and learning spiritual and psychological knowledge for at least the past decade, trying and experimenting them out on myself. Some worked, some didn't, and had (and still having) my own revelations and enlightenments along the way. I initially thought that I wouldn't want to choke up another person's time by having them reading my random thoughts.

These few days, I had another revelation, that leads me to decide that I am going to write about my journey and my thoughts, even though they might not have been fully formed yet. While I did it mainly for myself, I thought it might inspire another, or maybe even some might want to read it as a form as entertainment (lol I hope it can be entertaining enough). And I'm going to write a separate post for this revelation of mine.

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I watched this video a couple of days ago, that talks about Creating Wealth & Prosperity using the Law of Giving and Receiving.

It's not nothing that I don't already know, but watching this video again gives me a new perspective and clarity. It explains and gives examples quite well, and it made me reflect the areas that I have been giving and receiving, and sometimes even taking and leaking, energy.

Some of you might know, I had quitted my corporate job about a year ago due to burnout, and focus intensively on healing myself, and learning spirituality and psychology. I definitely have made some significant improvement to my wellbeing, mentally and emotionally. Recently I've decided to make all my skills and knowledge as offerings, in exchange, to make a living, helping and supporting anyone that resonates at the same time.

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For the past year, my money has been flowing to therapies, spiritual workshops, studying, in exchange for healing and knowledge. I, too, have been reading books, and on Instagram and YouTube, ingesting and learning more and more.

While I know, I am still healing from the fear being seen and being vulnerable, fear of being mocked, judged or criticised, but it feels like it's not just because of this I'm feeling stressed and exhausted.

While I'm trying my best to put out a Instagram post or reel every day, the exhaustion and stress overwhelmed me, until I didn't even want to go onto any social media platform at all.

That was when I googled and I found out that I had Social Media Fatigue.

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Of course, I dissed it off, and even felt a little shame. How can I get burned out when I have so much more time compared to others that are holding a 9-6?

And then I realised, it's not just from healing my fear of being seen. Because I always come from an angle of wanting to fix, to improve, wanting to be better, I am constantly looking outwardly for new knowledge, modalities, tips and tools. This contributes heavily to draining my energy, leaving me feeling exhausted all the time.

And also being a bit mindless about it, subscribing and following any account or person that I find might remotely benefit me in some ways. Before I know any better, I always beat myself up for not being hardworking enough, discipline enough to take in all of the information. Now that I understand how energy flows, I realised I am not being intentional about where I choose to invest my energy. And with so little energy left, I couldn't focus on learning those knowledge 100%, hence it might not have benefitted me as much as it could have if I was able to focus.

So here's what I'm doing now.

- Unsubscribing to newsletters that are choking up my email (especially shopping) and setting up a Google doc list to keep track of them, for the future when I need it.

- Unfollowing Instagram and YouTube accounts that I wouldn't want to focus right now, and choose to believe that it will pop back up into my life when it's time to learn about them.

- Set aside time for replying texts, emails and scrolling of social media, and not do that for the rest of the day.

- Focus and giving my 100% whenever I'm studying, be it a book, an article, or a YouTube video. And also using tips from this article.

Thank you for reading. Hope it inspire you, in some way, to reflect on where your energy is flowing. And have a wonderful and amazing day. :)

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