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What is Spirituality all about? - Part 2

Updated: Aug 30, 2023

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Read Part 1 here on Depth Psychology, Conscious vs Unconscious, Manifestation & Law of Attraction, Vibration & Energy.

I believe whoever is reading this, or is even remotely curious about spirituality, hence you are here, must have at least heard of astrology, fengshui or bazi before. As explained by, astrology is the study of the movements and relative positions of celestial bodies interpreted as having an influence on human affairs and the natural world.

Or as I understand it- each planet possess its own unique energy, and the planets' placement at any given point of time will have an impact on each other, causing them collectively to give off a specific type of energy or vibration. At that moment when you are born, you will be the embodiment of that collective energy, which is your blue print, natal chart, or bazi. And as you continue to be alive, the astrology placement in the sky will continue to have an impact in your waking hours.

A little about me

Picture from Fengshui World

When I first started on my esoteric path down spirituality, I went for my first bazi reading in a small store of Fortune Centre in Singapore, recommended by someone (that I couldn't even remember who that is now) for a small fee. I was told that I am a strongheaded and has an intense character. I pretty much will struggle through life, and unlikely to find a husband. And if I do, I will have a offspring that will grow to hate me, and I will be a miserable, sulky person for the better (or worse) half of my life.

At that point, I was already together with my current husband (then boyfriend), so I guessed it was sort of a sigh of relief for me. And I was told many times to control myself around everything and everyone around me, in order not to jeopardise any relationships or circumstances. Instead of learning how to maximise my potential and live my best life, I always learnt that I have an inner beast within me that I can never let it out, and my whole life is about controlling it.

Being happy and free was never my goal. My goal, as I told, was to control and never let myself be myself, in order to survive. Otherwise, I will end up in a worse-off situation. Happiness and freedom never in question.

What confirmed it, was that, I subsequently went to other bazi readings, and they were all pretty similar. The most memorable remarks I remember was,

"You have similar natal chart to Genghis Khan, it's unfortunate you were born a female."

"You have such a strong and intense chart. You need to control yourself. If you don't, you will blow up and destroy everything."

And every time I even remotely show any signs of displeased, I can feel the gossips and chatters behind me, be it in my mind or actually happening in reality, anchoring in the fact that maybe, just maybe, I do have an inner beast that needs taming and hiding away.

That was when I gave up on natal chart reading altogether, since it's more disempowering than empowering. I was miserable, always feeling I was in the wrong. So instead, I went down the path of healing and raising my vibrations, and always researching for ways if I can break away from the struggles from my natal chart and its vicious cycle.

However, recently, being introduced to Astrology and having my natal chart read by Stephanie, it went 180 degree change of direction. I was explained how I could feel and looked like I embodied my best version of myself. She told me the innate potential quality I posses. With commitment to healing and my spiritual path, I could be 110% of my best self one day. For the first time in my life having my natal chart read, I feel hopeful and empowered. And also, wtf have I been told all my life then??

Blue Prints

Subsequently, I went for the Mermaid Archetype course with Giselle, and I asked her this.

How did I get drastically different reading from bazi (a chinese type of natal chart reading) and astrology? How was it that certain type of reading are so deterministic, and some others feels like we can take destiny into our own hands, and we can manifest it (both the best and worst version) with our own free-will?

And she responded that, in the past, where living conditions (e.g. poverty and wars) wasn't as great as now, there is only a limited type of characters that deemed to be able to survive. And also, given the limiting beliefs and the conditions was much stronger and stickier in the past, and especially when the reader themselves possess those conditioning and limiting beliefs, their readings will be skewed in a certain manner.

In this current era where all of us are walking into the new earth and new consciousness, the mission now is to have every individuals embrace and be empowered by their own unique and authentic self. And together, we will be creating this new reality.

I recalled watching one of Teal Swan's video talking about blue prints in every one of us. All of us are born possessing a potential for greatness- a calling, a life's purpose. However, in order for us to learn and to master that greatness, we are usually born into the opposite end of the spectrum. For example, if we are here to master creating wealth, we might be born into poverty. When a person manage to transform themselves from rages to riches, that person has truly mastered wealth creation. Vs another who is born into wealth, will not be provided the same opportunity for learn this mastery.

If you are somehow like me, where you stumbled into a reading that tells you bad things, and bad things only about your life- don't listen to them. In all aspects of your blue print and your life, shadows and lights will always exist. And also know, every flip side of a shadow, is your light. If you are committed to healing and raising your vibration, know that one day you will flip the switch, that's when you have crossed the bridge from struggles to empowerment, from vicious cycle to conscious creator.

While yes, I do feel like we will arrive at the best version of ourselves even if we don't go for any natal chart reading. But if you feel like you would like to, so that you can have a taste and sense of how your best version of yourself might be, I highly recommend Stephanie and Giselle.

Personal Energy

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On every flip side of the shadow, is the light. Hence, every shadow has the potential to be transmuted into light. For example, I was told my strong headedness and my anger is bad. I was told many times there is no need to get angry, and that when I do, I create a lot of discomfort in others, and I have to learn to let things go. For a very long time, I become resentful whenever I got angry, and even more resentful that I was cursed with this trait in my natal chart.

However, on the flip side of anger is power. My anger has always been there because I never learnt how to speak up on how I feel and how to state my boundaries. In my culture, the adults always judge a child on whether if they are obedient or not (guai, bu guai). For a child to state their boundary, or having their own opinion, will be considered a bad kid (bu guai) who is not obedient.

For a very long time, I have been disempowering myself for having a lot of fear of speaking up. And this caused me to have a lot of pent up anger in me that wants to speak up for myself.

After diving deep with modalities like Mental Alchemy and Somatic Alchemy with Stephanie, I am slowly transmuting my anger into personal power. So instead of feeling angry and afraid that it might explode and cause catastrophes, I am now able to speak up much better, stating my boundaries with confidence, and feeling much more in power, than anger.

Universal Energy

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So at the beginning of the article, I mentioned the definition of astrology? And that as you continue to be alive, the astrology placement in the sky will continue to have an impact in your waking hours.

That's when you hear predictions, workshops, seminars for fengshui and astrology for the day, the month, or even the upcoming year.

So the question that always come to my mind is- why sometimes it might be good for some people, but bad for some others? Why is it when the general prediction might be good or bad, but it doesn't seem to affect some people very much?

That's when I always tie this back to Law of Attraction or Mirroring, or Law of Vibration. When the current astrological position is at its strongest for a certain type of energy, and if you possess a similar energy or vibration in you, it will draw it out of you. You may be going to feel that emotion very strongly, or even at times, manifest that into your reality.

For example, ten years ago when I was in my lowest, I was very unhappy in my job. The place I was working at pride working long hours as dedication and hardworking, which was not in line with what I value and wanted. I did not tried speaking up, but I escaped instead. I quitted my job and went looking for another one.

I took a break for half a year, and when I jumped back to job hunting, almost every corner I turned questioned about my break, either subtly hinting me or told me directly, that it was unacceptable that I can be this unproductive. I eventually found a job, but I was told to be monitored closely since my track record wasn't good, because I took a break.

Looking back, I believed that the Universal energy at that period was meant to draw out my helplessness emotions in me. I was meant to feel the emotions of helplessness thoroughly to process and integrate it. Generally speaking, being aware or not that we are meant to thoroughly process and integrate our emotions, and whether if we decide to take a more proactive or passive stance, the situations sometimes drives us down onto my knees and feeling these emotions will become inevitable eventually.

In my mind, it just feels like you might not have healed as much from a passive approach, whereas vs the other way, the proactive approach, with help or no help, you dive deep into the feeling and allow yourself to tumble into the darkness, intentionally. Because the way to process emotions is to allow yourself to feel it in its entirety. Because what you resist, persist. And that the only way out is through the tunnel.

With the proactive approach, when the tides turn and when the Universal energy is more in your favour, you might be able to soar highly this time, because you have done your inner and shadow work, processing and integrating, transmuting your lower vibrations into higher ones.

Picture from Pinterest

While we all want to bask in sunshine and flowers all the time, it might not be possible. We are all subjected to our blue prints, personal vibration and universal vibration. And if all these are inevitable, we might as well learn how to surf and ride the waves. We learn how to deal with the downs, and the highs can be higher than ever.

I really hope anyone who is reading my articles enjoyed them, and hope my take on spiritual energies bring you some inspiration.

A side note is that I haven't written in a pretty long time, and I'm still working on my throat chakra (I've been told it's blocked cos I have fear of being seen and heard). So it will be helpful if you have any questions or feedback, because I really wanna write more, share more, and I really wanna meet so many more of you out there.

Thank you for visiting, and thank you for reading. :)


Mental Alchemy

Soma Psyche Alchemy (Stephanie)

The Cosmic Laundry (Giselle)

Find Your Negative Imprint, Find Your Life Purpose (Teal Swan)


Information provided is solely based on personal experience and knowledge, and does not constitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

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